Persuasive Essay Outline

I.                    Introduction

a.       State problem

                                                               i.      Lack of sleep in teens

b.      How schools contribute to problem

                                                               i.      Early start times and their effects on teens

II.                  Causes of sleep deprivation

a.       Hormonal shift

                                                               i.      Teens internal clock shift forward 1-2 hours

                                                             ii.      Harder to fall asleep/wake up earlier

b.      Excessive extracurricular activities

                                                               i.      Sports

                                                             ii.      Family

                                                            iii.      Social life

c.       Early school start times

III.                Limited learning ability

a.       Lack of sleep makes it harder to remember information

                                                               i.      Neurons in brain don’t function correctly when sleep deprived

b.      Interpretation of events can be skewed

                                                               i.      Judgement becomes impaired

                                                             ii.      Cannot correctly assess situations

IV.                Mental health

a.       Sleep deprivation linked to depression.

                                                               i.      More likely to get depression if sleep deprived

                                                             ii.      90% of children with depression experience sleep deprivation

b.      Bipolar disorder

                                                               i.      69%-99% of patients experience some form of insomnia

c.       Anxiety disorders

                                                               i.      Sleep problems precede anxiety 27% of the time

V.                  Conclusion

a.       Recap of information above

b.      Call to action

                                                               i.      If schools do not do something to help accommodate their students’ sleep problems, then they are going to see serious, health threatening consequences.

I commented to Megan's Blog and Judd's Blog.

Compare and Contrast: Education Systems

 For my essay I will be comparing and contrasting the education systems of the United States and that of Finland. My purpose will be to evaluate each of the education systems and choose which I believe is the better education system. I chose this topic because, as being a student in the United States, I had always wondered why when stacked up against other well developed countries the US ranked so poorly in comparison. Through this essay I hope to learn possibly some of the reasons why the US is falling behind other countries, such as Finland.

I commented on Britainy's Blog and Megan's Blog

Blog Post Three: Analytical Essays

In Judy Brady’s “I Want a Wife” Brady discusses what exactly it means to be a wife. She discusses every aspect of the life of a wife/mother. She does so by using repetition of the phrase “I want a wife…” and personifying herself as a spouse of the wife. I believe her intended audience is anyone who underestimates the demandingness of being a wife. Specifically, I believe the targeted audience would be spouses of a wife due to the tone and nature of the writing.

In Christina Sommers’ “Men—It’s in Their Nature” she talks about how males are different from females. It started off when her son went to camping in the Negev Desert. Some counselors had done an experiment with the campers where they all went off on their own and wrote about what they felt. Not to Sommers’s surprise, the boys did not comply with the counselors and instead decided that building a fire with the materials provided would be better. Sommers then provides information that more studies have shown that there is a biological difference in the way that men and women behave and perceive certain things. Lastly, she talks about how men are not recognized as crucial pieces in our society. Women are glamorized for their poetry that expresses their feelings and yet men are undermined in their abilities that accentuates their masculinity such as construction and civil service.

I will be choosing the second essay (Sommers) for my analytical essay. The reason being is I believe it will be better to write about because it has more all-around evidence as opposed to Brady’s essay that was mostly just emotion behind it.

I commented on Britainy's Blog and Joshua's Blog

A Favorite Place...

As I walk down the bumpy trail it already feels like home. Breathing in, I can smell the fresh air and feel the crunching of pine cones under my feet. Making my way down to the lakefront the environment changes. No longer is it the hard grass and gravel but soft, light sand. I help my family unload our food, coolers, and toys for the little ones. 

My younger siblings are already aching to get into the water, being impatient because of my mother forcing them to put on pasty sunscreen. After the sunscreen has set in they are finally allowed to go jump in. They shriek as they jump in to the icy cold water, as always, it doesn’t stop them from splashing around and swimming. Laughing at them, and thinking they are crazy; I set up my beach towel smoothing out the sand underneath and soak in the warm sun.

The ground is soft and forms to the shape of me lying down. I pick up a handful of the sand fascinated by the texture it is soft, then as it seeps between my fingers it starts feeling gritty. Sitting up I look out to water. It sparkles like glass no waves, no wind. The only movement in the water is kids wading around and boats roaring by, engines loud as can be.

Looking beyond our little place of serenity you can see other people enjoying the water and warm weather as we are. People with white knuckles being pulled on inner tubes behind boats, parents on the beach laughing and day drinking, and an overall happy aura from everyone around. A huge grin appears on my face. Yeah, this is where I feel at home.

I commented on Brittany's Blog and Boyd's Blog

Destroyed By Peter F. Martin Analysis

Summary:

Martin in “Destroyed” addresses the issue of people doping and using mind enhancers and what effect those have on the game and the players. Martin believes that the pureness of sports has been lost, but that the sport’s rules are not the primary issue at hand. The issue that people should be most concerned about is the health of the users and what effect it has on their life now and in the future.

Paraphrase of Paragraph Ten: 

Mind enhancers such as doping and steroids are a risk to the original point of sports. They contest the principles and standards of those who created the sports, from the Greeks to early Olympians who had official competitions. The drugs make the sports less humane. However the main issue is not that of the fairness and purity of sports, it is that of the athlete competing in them. Newscasters, fans, and commentators are disheartened at the loss of the original concept of the games; but when will everyone care about the loss of the health of the athletes? (Martin 582)

A Stand Out Quote:

“Athletes—those who dope, who take steroids, who cheat—are victims of far more serious maladies than their sports.” (Martin 582)

The reason that I chose this quote is because I believe this was a turning point in Martin’s essay as far as what the true issues of performance enhancers are. In the essay Martin began discussing how the enhancers affected the morale and the purity of the game. In paragraph nine, Martin alludes to the issue that enhancers are not only effect the game but the life and safety of the players. This was what I perceived to be Martin’s main point of the essay. 

I commented on Marissa's Blog and Jennifer's Blog.